Al Gore - Failed Lawyer and an Incredible Idiot

LAS CRUCES, New Mexico—Former U.S. Vice President [and inventor of the internet] Al Gore has called for better use of the "space resource" [whatever that is?] to battle Earth's climate crisis, enlisting entrepreneurial muscle to help solve global issues that threaten the planet's habitability. Gore said he has long been a fan of faster, cheaper, better [and less thought out] approaches that allow the private sector to exploit the space resource "in a responsible and creative, and cost-efficient way." [Does he refer to the 'space' between his ears?]

As an example, Gore spotlighted the competitive and dynamic forces unleashed by the entrepreneurial growth of the Internet. [Oh yes, of course, since HE invented it.]

"We ought to learn that lesson and apply it to space," Gore said. [What lesson? The internet is overall very very expensive and has given rise to two main products: spam and porn.] "Because of the environmental climate crisis, we need to speed up the introduction of private companies into the creative exploitation of the space resource."[There it is again... that 'space' he keeps referring to...?]

Gore spoke as part of a Wirefly X Prize Cup Executive Summit 2006 [Whatever that is?] , held here Oct. 19, attended by a range of executives, visionaries and space and high-tech leaders [and prison escapees, lunatics, and political hacks] .

Serious mistake

Labeling himself as a "recovering politician", [he should include: pathological liar] the former U.S. Vice President under the Clinton Administration rebuked the recently released space policy by U.S. President George W. Bush. [He would rebuke his own mother if she were Republican - give me a break! And for Al to take a stance on ANYTHING scientific is a joke. He's a failed lawyer, got C's in college at best, and the only BAR EXAM he passed was the Vodka section. And he's going to tell us scientists 'how to do it'. BWAAAHHHAAAHAAA]

Gore [who is also a very large part owner of Occidental Petroleum] called the newly issued Bush space policy "a move in the wrong direction" and "a very serious mistake," and urged Summit listeners to analyze the policy "very carefully." [And you can believe me, Al says, because "LOVE STORY was written about me", he claims. Any credibility here? Naw! None at all.]

"It has the potential, down the road, to create the kind of fuzzy thinking and chaos in our efforts to exploit the space resource as the fuzzy thinking and chaos that the Iraq policy has created for us in Iraq," Gore explained. [What? What did he just say? Huh? You have to be kidding me...]

"We need to avoid putting in place a set of policies that end up creating chaos and new obstacles for the creative exploitation of the space resource," he added. [Ah... again, with the 'space resources'. What is that? Vacuum? A vacuum is a resource? Like what's between his head?]

Gore said that the new space policy, in his view, ignores international law and consensus. [Of course it does, IDIOT! International law does not have any juristiction with 'space'. And concensus? OK, we go to Pluto, we shout at the planet: Can't we just get along? BWAAAHHHH. Gore reveals himself to be potentially smoking huge amounts of crack at this point.]

"If one nation takes it upon itself to assert its own unilateral definition of what world law should be [Well, idiot, that's just it. World Law is about the world, not Mars, fool!] -- without respect to what the rest of the world thinks about it—that's usually a mistake [OK and when isn't it then? hmmm?]," Gore told Summit attendees. "Policy matters. Law matters. International law matters."

Humankind's actions

Earth's climate pattern is now being put at risk by humankind's actions, Gore said. "We face what I think should be described as a full-scale planetary emergency." [Run away then Al... Run away! What? You're still here? I think we face an Al Gore crisis. They've opened the asylum and lets the nuts run for president.]



Al's Strange Solutions

* Inject Sulfur into Air to Battle Global Warming [No really... he said that!! HAHAHAHAHA! Maybe he refers to his own farts]
* Space Ring to Shade Earth [He'll invent that... made out of latex and cheese.]
* Longer Airline Flights [Just because. Whether you wanted a short hop or not. Yes, and it will use up more of his oil from Occidental Patroleum and make him richer (thanks Daddy Gore).]

While aware such a phrase sounds shrill to many ears, Gore added that "unfortunately, I believe it is exactly dead-on accurate." ["Just like my brain dead brain", he should add]

"We have a climate crisis," Gore said. Humans first became aware of this fact while in space, he said. [Dude.. what ARE you smoking? Humanity has not moved to space yet! A few astronauts went but you can't tell too much from orbit.]

It was also the scientific study of three near-Earth planetary neighbors—including Mars and Venus— [where's the third one doofus?] that spurred the start of the earth sciences, Gore said. "It's still shocking to me that we have more detailed information in some fields about Mars and Venus than we have about Earth." [You must be referring to Carl Sagan.. strangely a real scientist who warned about global COOLING, not global WARMING. The only global WARMING we have is what happens when you, a mental flunky, open your mouth!]

Nuff said. "L"oser!!

British Journalists Discovered to be Retards

Source: Reuters.
Source: Any British Newspaper with a Socialist Editor.

Despite ALL Evidence to the Contrary - Stupid British Journalists Wail "Global Warming"

While the British Tabloids Continue to Cry About Global Warming.. like this article:

By Jeremy Lovell
LONDON (Reuters) - Failing to fight global warming now will cost trillions of dollars by the end of the century even without counting biodiversity loss or unpredictable events like the Gulf Stream shutting down, a study said on Friday.
Source: Reuters of course... at:
http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=scienceNews&storyid=2006-10-13T141528Z_01_L11333993_RTRUKOC_0_US-ENVIRONMENT-CLIMATE.xml&src=rss&rpc=22


The evidence is to the opposite... earliest and coldest winter on record. Detroit and Buffalo buried under snow on October 13 (two weeks ago it was September, remember?).
Source: http://apnews.myway.com/article/20061013/D8KNRAOG0.html

Russian Astrologer Sips Too Much Vodka

According to the Russian astronomer Nikolai Fedorovsky, a giant comet flying at top speed is bound for Earth. Should the comet stay on the collision course, it may hit the planet in late October. The impact will cause devastating tsunamis, earthquakes and avalanches, says Fedorovsky. He saw the killer comet in a telescope two weeks ago. He managed to calculate the comet’s trajectory. “I’m not trying to scare anybody, I just want to warn the public,” sums up Fedorovsky. “We should pay attention to this suspicious celestial body. We could obtain more accurate calculations if other astronomers join forces. We could also photograph it if we’re in luck. We will probably partake in one of the greatest events in the history of humankind,” adds he.

Well OK, so let me summarize what good old Fedorovsky just said:

A Giant Comet
[how big is giant? A meter in diameter? A mile? A gazillion miles?]

flying at top speed
[what the heck is 'top speed'? 10 KPH? 50 MPH? How scientific is this? Top Speed? The speed of light? Can we be a little more precise here please?]

Should the comet stay on the collision course, it may hit the planet...
[What? you think it might NOT stay on course? Was it EVER on course? Will or or won't it hit? "MAY" hit is terribly unscientific. Did you see it in a dream?]

He saw the killer comet in a telescope two weeks ago.
[He did? You sure it wasn't 2 vodka bottles held up to his eyes? How did the comet get put into the telescope? Did he let the comet out? ]

He managed to calculate the comet’s trajectory.
[From one sighting?]


We could obtain more accurate calculations if other astronomers join forces.
[So... you really DO NOT know where it is going or it's trajectory?]

[Idiot].



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